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Sharings on the Al-Anon 12
Steps:
The Twelve Steps of Al-Anon are a practical tool for change for Al-Anon members. The Twelve
Steps help us find answers to our questions and solutions to our problems. They
help us to make peace with the past and live productively in the present. Many
members have experienced that working the Twelve Steps of Al-Anon has
transformed their lives.
There is much
to be learned from other Al-Anon members about working the Twelve Steps and
applying it to their lives.
We’d like to hear
from YOU about your experiences with the Twelve Steps! We will combine all the
sharings to create a resource that will be helpful for others. Please contact us at afgdistrict5@gmail.com
to share about your experience with the Twelve Steps! You can send as many
sharings as you like, and you can write as little or as much as you like. We
will be grateful for whatever you share!
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Sharings on the Al-Anon 12 Steps |
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Step 1 |
We admitted we were
powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable. |
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¨ Admitting that I'm
powerless over alcohol (and most everything in
my life) and taking Step One has reaped REWARDS that I never expected. Some
ways this has happened: Relief from formerly feeling like a failure by trying
to solve all kinds of problems; Energized by focusing on things I need to,
like myself; Wonder at all the beautiful things I have time to notice now and
enjoy; Awareness of what is in my hula hoop; Recovery is awesome; Days are
anticipated, instead of dreaded; Serenity as the biggest reward! ~
Maggie S. (posted 01/31/2010) ¨ Admitting I was powerless over something
like the drinking was very freeing for me. Finally there was something I
could stop trying to control. I felt like I was juggling all these balls in
the air in order to have a perfect life. I was trying to please my family,
the drinker, work but not me. When I came to Al-Anon, I felt I could relax
and take care of myself. I have been in this program a long time and I keep
coming back to remind myself that I don’t have to do it alone. So keep coming
back! ~ Cheryl B. (posted 01/06/2010) ¨ I came into the rooms of Al-Anon due to the suggestion
from a dear family member who already attended Al-Anon meetings. I stayed in the fellowship because it
works. They say it works if you work
it and your worth it. I have learned so much about myself that I
never would have learned had I not walked through those doors. Today I am a very grateful member of the
Al-Anon program. ~ Barb S. (posted
01/04/2010) ¨ I came to Al-Anon looking for a way to get my husband to
stop drinking. I learned quickly that
I was powerless over his drinking and the only person I could change was my
self. The steps and slogans have saved
my life many times. ~ Mary Lou L.
(posted 01/01/2010) |
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Step 2 |
Came to believe that a
Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. |
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¨ I came to Al Anon during a stage
in my life when changes occurred so rapidly I felt out of control. I had lost
my job, my mother had died, and my husband was moving out. I was already
praying to keep my feet on the ground and stand up for myself. God lead me to
Al Anon through two separate friends, who lovingly and with great care guided
me to a meeting. I was desperately reaching out and before my first meeting I
was using tenacity and self will to hold on. My survival did not include
letting go and turning over to God my reins and power. It was more like
asking God to turn it over to me. It felt counter intuitive to let go and
surrender, to offer up to God my will, and to begin to listen to God’s will.
I recall vowing to attend six meetings and then quit, since these ideas
seemed foreign to me. The spiritual awakening I felt came in a profound
fashion. I would come home from a meeting and feel anxiety free for an
hour, as the peace of God filled me with hope. Slowly and gently this peace
extended to more than a few hours, and more than a few days. I used the step
four workbook to re-enforce the principles I was
learning at the meetings. Soon I was promising myself to not quit, and to
continue with this program. Months passed and I was standing on my own two
feet with gentle serenity, making new friends, and soaking up the support of
a nurturing home group. I still have to break old habits of worry, but now I
have a program to follow, and if I stray too far off the path, I go back to
step one and write down what is out of control, how I feel, and what I can
chose differently for the day. Step two helps me focus on an action that
uplifts me. I appreciate my sponsor and my group and I learn from them
through creative and deep listening at meetings. They are my guide to God and
a reminder to keep coming back. ~ Jan T. (posted 3-02-2010) ¨ I love Step Two it one
of my favorites! Step 2 says that I
came to believe. This means that
before I tackled step 2 I didn’t believe.
I didn’t believe that my life could improve, I didn’t believe that I
could find peace whether the alcoholic was still drinking or not. I didn’t believe that I could focus on
myself instead of obsessing on every little thing the alcoholic was
doing. What I came to believe
in is that I had a higher power that could do for me what I could not do
for myself. I could live a happy,
joyous and free life. I could keep the
focus on myself and even take good care of myself. I could find sanity in the midst of an
insane situation. Step 2 gives me hope!
Thanks for listening! ~ Barb S. (posted 02-09-2010) ¨ When I came into the program, I knew that a Power
greater than myself which I call “God” could restore me to sanity if I would
ask him. But I did not have the tools of the program to help me. I was a screaming raving maniac because my
life was out of control. I slowly learned to use the steps and slogans to
help me find “Serenity”. One day when
I was at a meeting I began to feel that maybe I was starting to
understand the meaning of the word “Serenity”. I have to use the Steps and Slogans
everyday to try and maintain a serene life. ~ Mary Lou L. (posted 02-01-2010) |
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Step 3 |
Made a decision to turn
our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. |
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¨ Making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of
God can be a hard thing to do. I first
have to believe that there is a God that can help me. What I really think happens is that I try
everything that I can possibly think of to do in a situation and then when
nothing works as a last resort I turn the problem over to God. If I could just remember to turn the
problem over right away, I could save myself a lot of stress. God knows what is best and he also knows
how to open doors that I could not possible open on my own. I am going to try really hard to remember
that he has my best interest at heart and that I can trust him to handle any
situation that comes my way. Thanks for listening. ~ Barb S. (3-12-2010) ¨ Early on in joining Al-Anon I received a “God Box’. I have several of them now and after many
years in Al-Anon I still have to put people in the box and let God take care
of them. I use to turn over my
Grandson Brent in the box but every few months his legs would be hanging out
and I would have to put him back and let God take care of him. I still try to fix and take care of loved
ones but I am reminded that I cannot do it by myself. Mary Lou L. Posted
(3-01-2010) |
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Step 4 |
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. |
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¨ I have taken many 4th step inventories and I have learned a
great deal from each one. I like the
reading in the book “How Alanon Works” that says if we owned a toy store we
would not hesitate to take stock of our inventory. If there were too many teddy bears or not
enough frisbies it would be important to know. Well it is the same for me, if I am low on
patience or if I am taking care of everyone else’s needs above my own, I need
to know this so I can make a change.
It is also very important to list the good qualities as well as the
bad ones. It is really easy for me to
list my bad qualities while forgetting I have good ones. If I am taking care of myself as well as
focusing on myself, I will be able to see my good qualities. My goal in life is to live happy, joyous
and free. If I keep my side of the
street clean and keep my nose out of everyone else’s business I can reach my
goal. Thanks for listening. ~ Barb S.
Posted (4-06-2010) |
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Step 5 |
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the
exact nature of our wrongs. |
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¨ I really like step 5 it allows a great weight to fall from my
shoulders when I mess up. I am human, I am not perfect and I will make
mistakes. However, when I do I need
not carry around the weight of my mistake.
I can talk to God about it, then another person about it and then I
can let it go. Usually I will bring it
up at a meeting. Once I talk about
something it looses its power to dominate my thoughts and my life. I love these steps they allow me to live
happy, joyous and free!! Thanks for listening. ~ Barb S. Posted (5-6-2010) |
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Step 6 |
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of
character. |
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¨ Step
6 can be a challenge
for me as it says to be enirely ready to remove ALL our defects of
character. I am not sure if I can
remove all of them at once in fact I know I can not. I work this step by taking one character
defect at a time and working on it.
For example I can get impatient with my loved ones and when I do I say
things that I regret later. What I am
doing to work on this is I practice HALT.
HALT stands for am I hungry, angry, lonley or
tired? If I am, I try to address it
before I take it out on my loved ones.
I also have to remember that I am not working this step alone and it
clearly says that God will remove the defects so now I have to let go and let
him do just that. ~ Barb S. Posted (6-15-2010) ¨ Sharing
on Step 6-When I think about
Step 6, I believe it is about looking honestly at ourselves and
deciding in that moment that we sincerely want to reject the thinking
and actions that have kept us separated from our Higher Power, who
I call God. In Step 6 we are alone with our thoughts. We know what
our faults are and we know that we want to be free from them and we know that
God can deliver us from them. In Step 5 we admitted these faults and now (in
Step 6) we work through the emotions associated with them - the anger,
the sadness, the jeaolusy, the disappointment; and eventually focus on the
freedom that is waiting for us, through the love and forgiveness of God. It
is time. The moment is now. We are entirely ready! ~ Therese L. (Posted 6-01-2011) |
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Step 7 |
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. |
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¨ Step
7 - To me the first word
in this step is the most important.
When I can humbly go to HP it means I am open to His help and most
days I need a lot of help from Him! I
have many shortcomings but what I do is I work on the one that is giving me
the most trouble first. I heard
someone say that they asked HP to replace their shortcoming with something
positive so I also try to do that. The
biggest one giving me trouble right now is that I have a hard time keeping
the focus on myself. I have loved ones
that are not choosing recovery right now and I am letting it make my life
unmanageable. So what can I do about
it? I can become humble and ask HP to
remove the shortcoming and ask for His help in keeping the focus on
myself. I can also go to lots and lots
of meetings!!!! Thanks for listening
~Barb S. Posted (7-7-2010) |
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Step 8 |
Made a list of all
persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. |
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¨ Step
8 - I have heard it said that this step is way easier than step 9 where you actually have to start
making the amends and I have to agree making the list is less scarey!!! I have been in this fellowship a long time
so I have already made the list and also made the direct amends. What I do today is a daily step 10 which is
continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted
it. I love these steps they help me
live a simple and happy life. If I do
what the steps suggest, I do not have to carry around resentments or even
guilt when something negative has occured in my life. Before Al-Anon, I let resentments build and
I had to carry around a lot of baggage.
Today if I can help it I don't do that. If I have a situation that is bothering me,
I look at it and find out what my part is in it then I make the amends. One of the best things that works for me is
that when I have to deal with difficult people what I remember is that I
don't want to say something that I would have to make an amends for later on
so I generally keep my mouth shut!!! I
love Al-Anon it works if you work it and as we say at the meetings your worth
it!!!! Thanks for listening~Barb S.
Posted (8-12-2010) |
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Step 9 |
Made a direct amends to
such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or
others. |
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¨ Step 9 - Making
direct amends to people can
be scarey especially if the person I need to make amends to is not a nice person.
I try very hard to not say or do anything that requires me to make an amend but I am not perfect and I slip up. When I have a slip I ask my HIgher Power
for the help to make the amend. Someone said at a meeting that they do not
force the amend, they wait until the opportunity
arises for them to make the amend.
That really helped me a lot. I
am such a perfectionist and go getter but what I have to remember is that the
Higher Power is in charge and all I have to do is pray about it and He will
open the door for me to make the amend. Thanks for listening~Barb S. (Posted
9-06-2010) |
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Step 10 |
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong
promptly admitted it. |
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¨ Step 10 - This is my
favorite step! I love the fact
that I can take an action that will help me feel better right away. Before coming to the fellowship, I would
let things pile up until I was carrying a huge bag of pain on my shoulders.
Thankfully I do not do that anymore.
If I make a mistake, I promptly make an amends which keeps my side of
the street clean at all times. I love
Al-Anon it makes me live so much more peaceful. Thanks for listening~ Barb S. (Posted
10-10-2010) |
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Step 11 |
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious
contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will
for us and the power to carry that out. |
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¨ Step
11 - I really like step 11 because it is where I get my guidance. Before Al-anon I thought I had to be the
answer to everyone's problems by thinking of ways to solve everyone's
problems. Today I do not believe
that. I have a higher power and so do my
loved ones and I can tap into that power anytime I want. When I take time out of my day to have
conscious contact with my higher power, I have peace in my life. When I don't have contact with him my day
is chaotic and I have no peace. I
believe that the higher power gave us the fellowship of Al-Anon because he
knew we needed a power greater than ourselves to help us solve our
problems. I do not have the answers
for my loved ones problems but the higher power does. When I work the steps,
go to meetings and have fellowship with other Al-Anon members, I can remember
this and my life has much more peace in it. Thanks for listening~Barb S.
(Posted 11-07-2010) |
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Step 12 |
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps,
we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in
all our affairs. |
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¨ Step 12 really says a lot to me and I have to break it
down into three sections. First having
had a spiritual awakening as the result of working these steps is huge for
me!! Before I got involved in this
fellowship I had frozen feelings, the only feeling I could feel was
anger. As a result of working the 12
steps my feelings slowly thawed out and now I can feel a range of emotions
from sad to happy. I credit working
the 12 steps for this awakening. The
second part of this step says to carry this message to others which I do by
living my life following the principles of the Al-Anon program. I try very hard not to react to negative
behavior which only makes a difficult situation even more difficult. This also allows me to keep the peace that
I have worked so hard to attain. The third part says to practice these
principles in all our affairs. This
means I bring the Al-Anon recovery program to every part of my life. I can use the principles not only with the
active alcoholics in my life but with everyone I have a relationship with.
Reaching the 12th step was a huge milestone for me and one that I
cherish. I like what the suggested closings
says, “If you keep an open mind you will come to realize that there is no
situation too difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness too great to be
lessened.” This really sums up what
the fellowship has done for me and for that I will be eternally grateful.
Thanks for listening~ Barb S. (Posted 12-8-10) |
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All 12 Steps! |
General sharings on the
Twelve Steps of Al-Anon |
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¨ Sharings on ALL 12 Steps will be added here! |
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